What feeling am I talking about? The feeling of motherhood. I'm not sure about other first time moms but even with the responsibilities of motherhood I sometimes still feel like a glorified babysitter *grin*. Sure i'm not able to do some of the things I did in the past and have to get up for cleanings and feedings at nights but still wasn't feeling that feeling. Untiiilll.......last weekend.
Last weekend was a time of awakening. That dreaded Saturday when lil' man fell off the bed *sigh* and then came Sunday. After a somewhat rainy day with dad, we were back home. I had bathed and put on LJ's bedtime clothes and had him in my lap trying to decide if I should go get a shower or feed him. The final decision was to feed him before I showered (great decision). As I put the bottle to his lips and he took one sip, he gagged *hhmmmmn*. I thought maybe he's just gonna puke a lil' (he's never puked before, so not sure what to expect) and so I lifted his bib in front of his mouth. Imagine my rude awakening when not a little puke but projectile vomiting came out. Needless to say the bib was of no use. He was covered from neck to toe in vomit, I was covered from thigh down (thank God I had on shorts), the chair got it, the bed got it and a large area of the floor was covered. Waaaaay GROSS!!! I tend to be a bit on the squeamish side.
So here I am peeling vomit filled clothes off my son, washing him in the sink, brushing out the mattress and the chair, wiping and re-wiping the floor and washing my slippers in the shower while I wash myself from head to toe *sigh*. Somewhere in the middle of washing out a nasty wash rag to re-wipe the floor a thought came to me, OMG I do feel like a mom. These are the things my mom would've done for us and I now have to do (because he's my baby and there is no-one else to do it). No longer do I feel like just a sitter with extra work (no one could pay me to do this!)
While I may not always feel the feeling, I am blissfully aware that I AM A Mom and I do look forward to each and everyday I get to spend with this lovely human who has only enriched my life. Talk to you in my next post :)