How Do You Cope?

Before becoming a mother I gave only passing thought to a parent surviving the death of a child.  I was mindful of my parents getting older and I would pray everyday for their health and strength and that of my siblings and loved ones.  However, never imagined what it would be like to lose a child.

After the birth of my son I think I spent the first week at home crying every night that I would be a good parent and that he would come to no harm.  It caused me severe stress at just the mere thought of anything bad happening to him. 

This leads me to speak about my neighbours, a lovely middle-aged couple with two wonderful sons (a high-schooler and a young adult).  I cannot tell you the shock I received when I woke one morning about a month ago to hear that the older son had died in a very tragic accident.  This was a young man with a very promising future and on his final leg of completing university and would have graduated later this year.  A young man with so much discipline in a society where it does not seem popular to be polite and respectful.  A young man with his goals well known and his eye on the prize.  I was devastated.  Then my thoughts went to his parents and their grief, I wondered how in the world would they cope.

I reflected on the short time that I have known my son and the joy and love he has brought to my life in this span.  I could only imagine how many more thoughts of the future and memories these parents had.  Life can be so unfair, I thought.  The weeks leading up to his funeral were hard to say the least.  Friends, family, neighbours and well-wishers all shared in the joy of this young man's memory and the grief of his untimely passing.  His parents and younger brother seem to draw comfort from the camaraderie and the prayers/devotions kept in his honour.  Still I wondered how hard it was to bear when they were alone with their thoughts at nights.

His funeral is now passed and many of those who came, are back to their regular lives.  Yet, what will regular now be for this family?  A son whose laughter you will no longer hear, face you will only see in your mind/pictures and life you can only reminisce on.  This week would have been his 23rd birthday, just another day to me and some others.  However, another milestone to remind his parents and family that he is gone. 

The happenings of these last few weeks have caused me to worry and fret over what could happen.  Then I realised that this will not stop the inevitable from happening.  So instead I try to build significant memories with my son and let each day count.  I make sure he is surrounded by those who love and cherish him and pray that our inevitable is a lifetime away.

I hope to live a long and happy life with all my family and loved-ones. I pray that when we have to face one of life's harshest reality we can do so with a brave face and have a lifetime (however, long/short) of wonderful memories to soothe our hurt.

Until we meet again, stay safe and blessed and may you all find comfort and joy in your lives. xoxo